But why does criticism hurt in the first place? Part of the reason is fear that the criticism may be warranted--that you are indeed too fat, too slow, too loud, or whatever barb has been lobbed in your direction. The other factor may be low self-esteem. If you don't feel so good about yourself, you're more apt to take criticism to heart. On the other hand, if you feel fairly self-assured, the negative remarks of others are more likely to bounce off.

Still, a fair amount of criticism may be valid--and just what you need to correct a fault. In order to decide just how much attention a critical remark warrants--or what you should make of it--ask yourself:

• Does the criticism seem reasonable? Is there some truth to what was said? (Perhaps you should pay attention to the remark.)
  
• Have I been criticized by other people on the same issue? (If so, maybe it warrants attention.)
  
• Does the person making the critical remark know what he or she is talking about? (If he or she is a self-appointed critic-at-large, ignore the remark.)
  
• Was the remark really directed at me, or was the critic venting general frustration, anger, or bitterness at something over which I have no control? (If criticism stems from general dissatisfaction, let it slide.)
  
• Is the criticism based on a difference of opinion? (If so, don't overreact.)

If you decide that the criticism is valid, you can consider taking positive steps to improve. If it's unwarranted, forget it.